tapping

tap tap tap.. i got up this morning and just felt sad. Im not that great at the moment. Only takes ou to little bit for reality to set in. Its odd i was reading my past journals and used to dream about the devils and angels a hell of lot. I dont know why ever since s in my teens. Its like i had access to the constant battle between heaven and hell. I will write more later.

alligator.

heart

whats it like to have a heart?
TO to the ends of the earth they went for me.

They should have let me drown in the pool
I guess we all have moments like those

Not sure of where I am going
but they were always there for me

i miss a beat
i missed that beat

catching some sun

So its a lovely autumn day. I am inside. Angry as my ipod has broken. Ive had it for 3 weeks and it is so fecked already. So tomorrow, i will buy another one. Im not sure what i did to it.

Well i guess the picture i painted is real pretty

turn turn turn

turn turn turn
turn turn turn.

I do not remember my dreams lately...

turn turn turn
turn turn turn

I could not sleep for a while

turn turn turn
turn turn turn

think its a note of sleep i want

turn turn turn
turn turn turn

bitter pill

the bitter pill of punishment is catching me up. I cant really go out. It was quiet enough in the cafe. Had coffee and brunch. Read some magazine. I am a little bit skeptical about a few things today. I cannot believe as of late. Well I guess.

fear

My greatest fear is and has always been letting go of things that hold me down. The baggage that goes with it. I have heald on to it for a long long time. Pigeonholed myself into a corner,...anyhow i have an appointment today...

better go

love albell

wedding photos

Hi theret l the wedding went well. I will write more about it later here are some photos. I guess I feel a little shattered at the moment.If i had confidence then perhaps things would be different. Once again I have pigeonholed myself in and cant
leave the baggage behind. I hate that. There is little i can do though. how

Anyhow.. i have been having enough pity parties... like the rabbit from alice in wonderland i am later for an important date... i wish I could go travel.. money and laack of being well prevents me.

U know what i miss,? Doing th ings by myself. I used to be able to read and write sitting in the park...go to movies by myself.. i was free back then, for the past ten years i have boxed myself. . U know i cried and cried at louise and alans wedding.
From start to finish. I had a few ladies ask why , i guess its because all my family are partnered up and I well I have no one. It is my fault. I drove them all away. Insecurity... old baggage, unsure of myself... all that jazz.

So its pity party time again.


ciao for now